we are members of stalins hiver empire

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Legate Xa' Nephar my scouts have spotted the treasonist freeing lizard slaves in the terminus systems! this is an obvius act of defiance against queen stalin! and our ally Raygun. may we proceed with the threat and send him and his family to the camps of Qu' Nazee'r?

centurion Lucius Scipio or xee' razaag of the Crawler Guard

Ok here's more of the Hiver Constitution

Article 5

If an Alien ship is captured, the ship must be destroyed or coverted into one of our many suicide gas stations with POWs inside. The "Aliens" may also be heretics to the Hive and our holy religion of worshipping the Queen. This division will be known as Stalin!'s Death Squad. The Queen has absolute authority in the usage of gas stations as WMDs, Weapons of Mass Devotion.

Article 6

All Alien species who come to our planets must go to Work Camps, uh I mean Rehabilitation Centers, and begin the assimilation process. They will be barred from Military due to their inferior DNA, as noted in Article 4, but may be permitted to join Stalin!'s Death Squad. We hope this will lead to a peaceful transition into their new, controlled, uh I mean FREE lives. Note to anyone continuing this Constitution, do not misquote yourself and tried to correct it. We have not invesnted what the Humans call a backspace key. I recommend that Chelsea and her team of researchers get on that immediately.

Dear Queen Stalin

I would like to request that you stop sending my friends (who work in the refinery's etc) to their death via explosion.
Please acknowledge this request.


A concerned Captain.

ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL!

[quote="cratorkid"

Legate Xa' Nephar my scouts have spotted the treasonist freeing lizard slaves in the terminus systems! this is an obvius act of defiance against queen stalin! and our ally Raygun. may we proceed with the threat and send him and his family to the camps of Qu' Nazee'r?

centurion Lucius Scipio or xee' razaag of the Crawler Guard[/quote]

Centurion Xee' Razaag,

Exterminate these criminals - but take some lizards prisoner.

Xa' Nephar - Commander of the Crawler Guard

Message of general interest:

send a gate fleet to as many dolphin planets as possible and when you finally have war you can whoop their asses in their turf
and maybe try adding the humans to the alliance so they can be powerful for one final war vs the dolphins

F*** YOU DOLPHINS, F***A' YOU WHALEZ

My Ever Glorious and All-Powerful Queen,

I have been wondering, are male Hiver the dominate gender in our civilization? Or are females?
Do the women still eat the men after they have had relations? Or are we beyond such medieval practices?
I am confused and afraid.

Your Humble Servant,
Maximanius Constantinius Maleminius Afraidius

I am a not so humble merchant. I supply our citizens with whatever they desire. I have recently been trying to supplie Ronald rayguns workers with... pineapples that improve work efficency... but it is rather difficult to transport my drugs... errrr i mean Pineapples all across youre empire so please make more frigates/merchant ships for the betterment of me... uhm for the empire too.

[/quote]Centurion Xee' Razaag,

Exterminate these criminals - but take some lizards prisoner.

Xa' Nephar - Commander of the Crawler Guard[/quote]


commander Xa' Nephar,

i have sent all of the tresonist hivers to their choice of public execution or the death ships and captured the lizards who escaped. i also captured the lizards that were trying to release them as well. these prisoners will be sent to gar' ratuum and meeer' aer du in the rashuum system for the palideum mines or to be sold as servents. lastly i have uncovered that the space birds were assisting the lizards inn escape, we should recomend war immediately to Queen Stalin!

Centurion Xee' Razaag

Are we not already at war with the space birds? If we are we should make them our next target for this attempt at defying the glourious crawler guard.

ah, another question for my organization to answer. All the women are born princesses and their is one queen. some males are born princes and the princes, princesses, and the queen are the only ones with reproductive organs. so now you know

My people of travelling human warrior nomads known as the Malaklan are appalled at the state of this universe and have now set out to rescue the brave insects who tried to free the trapped tarka's. With bolter in hand and power armour on our chests we shall smash the bugs who call themselves the crawler guard and who keep these Tarks prisoners and take them with us in our glourious quest for a new home.

Signed,
Captain Davain Thule (because i cba in making up a name )

*Facepalm

The idea of a giant sentient praying-mantis with that name is hilarious.

Centurion,

Good... good, these lizards will make great... uhh... target practice, our head scientist has created a rather potent gas, harmless to bugs ofcourse but particularly unpleasent for lizards - I will gather more evidence before I advocate my findings.

P.S. You have been awarded the Arachnid Stripe for your efforts, also get a shuttle and meet Raygun for another shipment of lizards!

umm he is human

thank you powerfull commander, i iam well thankfull for the award and am very exited to meet our entrepreneurial ally RayGun.
another thing, further investigation of the Juu, zian incident has found that the humans and a certain Captain Davian Thule were also assisting the lizards with the birds. i am proceeding with operation steal all of their women were we invade earth and steal all of there women for, umm... research . and this time we will not fail like those inferior pigs who tried this 12 taraqs ago and got their ham handed to them by that puny human duke

Why do we have a lizard like Raygun as our slaver if we are going to enslave lesser race we should have Hiver I don't trust Raygun any further then i can throw him (at that i can toss a tarka pretty far) I say we have hiver slavers not tarka and i have suspicion that Raygun might try something with the crawl guard i'm going to dive deeper into my suspicion.

Well it's easy to see why I assumed him to be hiver, since this thread is called "we are members of stalins hiver empire".