we are members of stalins hiver empire

Whoa... I'm taken back man... Where did you get that gem from?

2nd note next to 1st note

Just on a side note, I will be very annoyed if you replace me with another scientist the is also as slow as I but successful...

My Queen!
My ship was shot down by what appeared to be a moon just past the edge of Hiver space. We crashed on an unknown planet and I believe I'm the only survivor. I have survived so far by feasting on the corpses of my comrades, but I need rescue.

you are under the protection of the crawler guard and have even been heard to be in the good books of queen stalin. You have nothing to fear.

i have a hiver Constitution written up and it will be ready very soon my queen.

here is a sneak peek (continued from jaise's version)


Article 5

Mighty emperor STALIN! will have the right to send troops to barge into your house and make you a slave regardless of where you live (this right was stripped from ronald reagan due to the amendment act 8.325 made after the slave-hiver liberation war against the tarka. thus he stole grand emperor STALIN!'s slaves before they even belonged to our mighty emperor).

Article 6

If your A.I tries to rebel against our emperor you will be executed and your A.I dismantled by ronald reagan slave-bots. Secondly anyone caught selling ANYTHING to ronald reagan will be jettisoned into space and pulled apart by several gates pulling away at their limbs.

Article 7

Head of research(chelsea) is to held responsible for all mistakes made by research teams, including: going overbudget, not finishing fast enough and not providing emperor STALIN! with advanced tech. Whereas all breakthroughs are to be credited to our grand emperor.

Article 8

If you open a legal case against emperor STALIN! you will not win, period. There will be 400 elected officials per 1million pop. per planet whose very important job is to agree with our emperor STALIN!. from each planet there will be a cabinet of ministers to manage day-to-day proceedings of their assigned planet. positions will include:

Planet Prime Minister: is head of cabinet and job is to agree with the emperor in every concievable way.
Planet Treasurer: is to agree with the money given to them by emperor STALIN!.
Planet Trade Minister: is to stop all ronald reagan-affiliated goods from arriving on planet
Planet Intelligence Minister: is to use tor- i mean enhanced interrogation methods on the filthy mexica- i mean alien races.

Act list:

Act 101: to make emperor STALIN! head of everything. no exceptions.
Act 102: to make anyone a slave (no longer available to ronald reagan)
Act 103: to make everyday emperor STALIN! day

Full list is in HOC (Hiver Officers Corps) offices in grand emperor STALIN!'s HQ.

Excuse me foul xeno scum,but have you seen a strange looking man know as "Raygun". He has been convicted of stealing my chapter's gene seed and selling it to strange dolphin-like creatures. Any aid would surely delay your dea- i mean..be useful.

Captain's starlog, May 10, 2409:

The dolphin says he plans to turn the Hiver AI rogue. I personally think he's retarded since he keeps babbling something about "the Orange Clan" and "Indigo child" but STALIN! Shepard has taken a liking to him and trusts him blindly (I have a feeling those two have an impure relationship).
For now we have decided to let him carry on with with his plan.

Ronald Raygun, logging off.

Hiver log 2.00.01

I have been with STALIN! Shepard for 2 weeks now, and the space dolphin came up with a great idea! We'll turn the AI I made against the hive! Also I now understand the Lizard human Ronald Regan. He has now opened my mind to the idea of slavery and his "Republican" ways!

Scientist Surfusa logging off

Captain's starlog, May 12, 2409:

I'm not sure what to think about STALIN! lately, it seems he's been having regular intercourse with the whole crew, he even tried to seduce me. It was hard to resist his bright red eyes, scarified face and clumsy dance moves, not to mention the smooth talk... OH GOD THE SMOOTH TALK! What is happening to me?

Ronald Raygun, logging off.

this is breaking news lol

Hiver log, May 13, 2409,

Almost all the crew has been "impressed" by STALIN! Shepard... But me. Maybe because I'm a giant bug. Oh well, the AI is starting to get annoyed but I can't remember if I added Two encoders or four breakers. Damn it, just made the AI learn how to love

End Log

Surfusa

This is to inform all citizens that anyone caught tampering with the new Hive AI will be shot on sight
Commander StephenMacG of the major Hive crime unit

I thought I would lay down some interesting facts about the Hiver race seeing as they have some 'strange' traits about them.
Firstly: Hiver society is made up of 5 sub species: Worker, soldier prince and princess and the queen.
Workers are by far the most common species in Hiver society, making up 70% of the Hiver population they are responsible for almost all the art a literature along with carrying out almost any occupation including science, construction, mining etc.
Warriors are far less common than their worker brethren making up 25% of the species they are geneticly adapted to be stronger tougher and bigger than the avarage worker. As such they normally work in either high risk occupations including (but not necessarily exclusive to) the armed forces.
Princes are even more rare in Hiver society and our the only 'males' in the entire race. (Yep thats right all workers and warriors do not posses the ability to reproduce) Drifting between princess to princess most princes attempt to seduce and reproduce with a princess in order to pass on their genes. Though they do sometimes take military roles (Hence whenever a CnC is attacked the state the 'Prince's ship is under attack.' Princes on the other hand do have more 'free will' than the others as they need to leave their mothers in order to spread their genes as much as possible to further the Hiver race.
Princesses, these species are the only members beside the queen that have the ability to give birth to more Hiver. Her sons are fanatical and will do anything that she commands them after all she is their mother. Though bound to the queen through the use of the gate network (I will talk more about this in our next lesson.) Princess's are independent and are able to attempt to overthrow a queen if she is weak.
The queen. Stalin him(her)self. A queen is a princess who has 'eaten' the royal gems these ancient artefact 'mutate' the princess allowing her to be the only one capable of giving birth to new princesses effectively seizing control of the entire empire.
This is all for today's lesson next time we will look into Hiver reincarnation and religion.

Untill then this is DarkAssasin signing of.

Hallo the Great Queen?! I am Thankful for my Promation to Admiral in the Hiver Fleet and was glad to termated the Trake's for the great Hiver Empire and the Queen.

Also my Queen. I think Ronald should be send to death. Send in front of the Hiver Fleet.

My queen I thank you for promotion to your secret guard. I promise to uphold my duties of defending ronald raygun to the best of my abilities and crushing any princess that would attempt to rebel and become queen.

I am one of Ronald Raygun's many, many slaves. There have been hostile comments other members of the empire post against him. Master Raygun is by far one of the most efficient and cruel masters I've ever had, affording us one meal a week and barely any water. Hearing of other Hivers that wish for his execution fills me with confusion and rage, for this inferior and ugly alien demonstrates a moral lesson for all Hivers: by dominating and brainwashing other races, you can go from being a freakish monkey-alien and factory laborer in primitive Earth-China to a freakish monkey-lizard-alien and successful slaver in the grand Hiver Empire.

Freakin' buzzz, dawg.

i am looking into this "ronald raygun" and i have discovered i am part human!!! like him. but i will always be a loyal servant to our great leader






-the teremaster: imperial minister for public affairs

Dear Glorious Leader,

I wanted to inform you that if you hit the MANAGE FLEET button on your Magical Command Console you can keep those ugly gas stations away from our glorious Slaughtererhouses and such.

Sincerely,

An arrogant and cocky TTD Slaughtererhouse commander

I've escaped the Normandy and I am now heading towards the homeworld. It's been a long time since I've seen it, but I think it's worth seeing again. When I arrive, I will create a great game about my mission! I will call it... Binman!