Not really sure who to ask about this but I sure as shit don't know what to say. Was really hoping to get some sleep this evening but had the pleasure of a friend who is on the verge of cutting. Anyone have any experience dealing with the clinically depressed? I'm just trying to help her stay intact here but let's just say I'm not the best at sympathy . It's not like saying the reasonable thing to do will help her here. Sorry to cast a dark shadow of sad stories over the off topic section but if ANYONE knows what I could say here I'd love to hear it -.-
Have integrity - Be natural - Be yourself! Avoid taking on an "act", "image","false front" or "role" e.g. as "Caring person" or "Problem-solver", "Counselor" or "Healer". Depressed people are often vulnerable to cruel exploitation, in which a caring, counseling or "Let me fix you" kind of act or behavior is really put on as an image-booster (ego trip) for the person trying to be supportive. Have the courage to be genuine - if you don't feel caring, then don't put on a pretense of it! False or self-centered support rarely works. It can even re-bound on the person who is playing "a part" instead of genuinely and spontaneously expressing their true feelings and nature. The acid test of sincerity and genuineness is that you are not hurt or angry or frustrated if the depressed person does not respond in the way that you want them to. If you genuinely feel caring, and counseling or healing flows naturally, then do it, but don't "beat yourself up" if you do not feel caring or sympathetic - being honest and genuine and in touch with your real self and your real feelings is helpful to both of you. Under no circumstances tell her to "snap out of it" in any way shape or form. Things like that will only backfire on you.
Pretty damn sure I feel caring buddy. I don't know what to say, because I don't have these problems. I want to help, I am not going on some fucking ego trip.
I just have to make sure, you would be surprised how many philanthropists just work to make themselves feel better. My point is that you need to be caring but not over the top. She is also not in a rational place and trying to force her out of her point of view will only make things worse. Lastly you do still need to look after yourself, being around a depressed person is emotionally draining. You will start to feel frustrated while you are with her at this point I would say to take a break. Holding back feelings of resentment will only be detrimental to her well-being.
I've never directly told her not to do anything. I don't make it my business to order her around. As of yet my strategy has just been to keep her talking(occupied) and let her know that me and her other friends are always around to talk. I don't really like to impose anything on people.
You really need to tell us what you are doing up to this point, I feel like I'm just taking stabs in the dark trying to find out what you are and aren't doing.
Okay. Sorry I feel awkward but I guess this is pretty anonymous anyway. Right so I'm just her friend and until recently only had suspicions that she cut herself. She is very discreet with it.. I started talking to her online earlier and she told me she was hyperventilating. I started trying to calm her down, count backwards from 20 whatever I couldn't think of much better then that (Chelsea has since given me better advice) . After that she told me about the cutting and other things. This recent episode was triggered by her boyfriend who broke up with her. Anyway I've just been talking to her, I haven't been judging her or anything, I've just said that I'll always be around to talk. EDIT: Aight guys crisis averted. Just got off the phone with her. I got advice from the future via a pm. This can be locked , if anyone feels they have anything that could help me out here I'll gladly hear out a PM.
