Lame Jokes Super-Kick-Ass-thread

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Soviet Streltsy, Feb 15, 2012.

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  1. Soviet Streltsy Well-Known Member

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    You heard it folks, post all the dumb shit (hurray for needless profanity) you can find... right here.
    Soviet Streltsy, Feb 15, 2012
    #1

  2. Lighthouse Well-Known Member

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    A jew, Ronald Reagan, and that one guy you always see and waves to you but you dont know him walk into a bar. The bartender suffered a minor heart attack that morning and all 3 of them were arrested for trespassing except Ronald Reagon because he leads a Criminal Gang that almost runs the city.
    Lighthouse, Feb 15, 2012
    #2

  3. Soviet Streltsy Well-Known Member

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    Snake walks into a bar.

    Bartender say to him,"We're not going to serve you here"

    The snake asks him,"Why?"

    The Bartenders say back to him," 'Cause you can't hold your liquor."
    Soviet Streltsy, Feb 15, 2012
    #3

  4. BattalionOfRed Mr. Fred Battaliono

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    Joseph Stalin is dancing.
    BattalionOfRed, Feb 16, 2012
    #4

  5. Lighthouse Well-Known Member

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    Lighthouse, Feb 16, 2012
    #5

  6. UnholyKnight800 Well-Known Member

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    Men of war Assault squad is fun.
    UnholyKnight800, Feb 16, 2012
    #6

  7. ddbb089 Well-Known Member

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    A Priest a Rabbi and Abraham Lincoln walk into a bar and the bartender says:
    "What is this some kind of joke?"
    ddbb089, Feb 16, 2012
    #7
    slydessertfox likes this.

  8. theteremaster Well-Known Member

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    MODS ARE ASLEEP!!! POST CHILD PORN!!!!!!!!!!!!

    [IMG]
    theteremaster, Feb 16, 2012
    #8

  9. Cover Well-Known Member

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    If you ever need a REALLY FRIKKIN BAD line, I've got one right for YOU
    How much does a penguin weigh?
    Enough to break the ice.
    BA DUM TSSSH
    Cover, Feb 16, 2012
    #9

  10. MayorEmanuel Do not weep, for salvation is coming.

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    MayorEmanuel, Feb 16, 2012
    #10

  11. Toast Well-Known Member

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    What did the blind man get for Christmas?

    Cancer
    Toast, Feb 16, 2012
    #11

  12. GeneralofCarthage Well-Known Member

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    Your mom
    GeneralofCarthage, Feb 16, 2012
    #12

  13. Lennins Beard Well-Known Member

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    Horse walks into a bar

    The bartender says "Why the Long Face"

    Horse replies "My son was stillborn."
    Lennins Beard, Feb 16, 2012
    #13

  14. Karakoran Well-Known Member

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    What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
    A STICK! HAHAHAHA
    Karakoran, Feb 16, 2012
    #14

  15. Vassilli1942 Well-Known Member

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    Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud.
    Yes sir, it’s fresh ground.

    Famous last words of a mafia hitman: Who put the violin in the violin case?
    Vassilli1942, Feb 16, 2012
    #15
    bender likes this.

  16. slydessertfox Total War Branch Head

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    Whats worse than a beasting? Two beastings. Whats worse than two beastings? Three beastings. whats worse than three beastings? The Holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust?
    4 beastings
    slydessertfox, Feb 16, 2012
    #16

  17. C_G Well-Known Member

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    I'm fed up of every making these fucking 9/11 jokes. My cousin died in 9/11 and it tore our family apart....

    .... its just a shame that they didn't realise why he wanted to fly a plane.

    Just heard about New York's garden in a sky idea.

    Hope it worked better than the airport in a skyscraper idea.

    When Osama was killed I saw an American with a placard saying Obama: 1 Osama 0

    Typical American behaviour, I think you'll find it is Obama: 1 Osama: 3000
    C_G, Feb 17, 2012
    #17

  18. Byzantium's Revenge Well-Known Member

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    Why is Michael Buble so popular?
    Because of his buble personality.

    How does Michael Buble like to relax after a hard day?
    He has a buble bath.

    What is Michael Buble's favourite chocolate bar?
    Aero...cos it's all buble.

    What does Michael Buble say when he's casting a magic spell?
    Hubble buble toil and trouble.

    How does Michael Buble like to pleasure his wife?
    He likes to play with her...
    Byzantium's Revenge, Feb 17, 2012
    #18

  19. ddbb089 Well-Known Member

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    A neutron walks into a bar and asks:How much for a drunk?
    The bartender said:"For you no charge!"
    ddbb089, Feb 19, 2012
    #19
    slydessertfox likes this.

  20. slydessertfox Total War Branch Head

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    How do you make a dead baby float?

    Put it in a blender with two scoops of ice cream.
    slydessertfox, Feb 19, 2012
    #20
    Byzantium's Revenge likes this.
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